The 50% Alphabet

I haven’t blogged much over winter (although I have been writing other things). If I had to state a reason, I could say something about work-life balance, but that wouldn’t make me look good. Instead, I’m blaming the English language.

Let’s face it, there are too many letters in the alphabet. Here’s my theory: if there were half the letters, I could write twice as much in the same amount of time. So, in an attempt to help ALL English speakers, below is how I’m suggesting the alphabet should be.

A – keep
B – keep
C – discard (use S or K)
D – keep
E – keep
F – keep
G – keep
H – discard (I don’t have a reason)
I – discard (use E)
J – discard (use G or maybe I)
K – keep
L – keep
M – keep
N – discard (similar to M)
O – keep
P – discard (similar to B)
Q – discard (similar to K)
R – keep
S – keep
T – discard (similar to D)
U – discard (use O)
V – keep
W – discard (use V)
X – discard (use S)
Y – discard (use I or E for vowels, G otherwise)
Z – discard (use S)

All together there will be 13 letters. (13 is prime number — who could have a problem with that?) If you learned the classic nursery rhyme when you were young, you will see it can be made to work. Try it:

“A B D E F G K L M O R S V. Nov I kmo me A, B, Ds, vom’d o kome and blae ved me.”

I think the history books will show that April 1st, 2018 was a pivotal day for the English language. Of course, I’m available for TED talks and Noble Prizes.

GD Konstantine (a.k.a. GD Komsdadene)

 

 

Nothing for Nothing

The photo was taken at a local supermarket.  I’ve got nothing more to say.

 

An Unscientific Observation

Here in Toronto, we are in the middle of summer. The weather has been good recently — not too hot and not too much rain. A sign of summer is people driving their cars with the windows open. I have observed that the people with the lousiest taste in music play their music the loudest. I’m not sure why. I suppose I could study them, but that would mean spending time with them and their music. I’d rather enjoy my summer and let some mysteries of the world remain mysterious.

 

A Rule About Laughing

Today, I’m setting out a simple rule: If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re not allowed to laugh at others.  Call it GD Konstantine’s Laughter Rule if you like to put names to things.

I’m sure some smart people will find exceptions (such as when you have jaw surgery and you physically can’t laugh at yourself or others), but the part of being self-aware remains.  My experience is that a lack of self-awareness is at the root of many people’s social problems.

So, my wish to us all is that we do a lot more laughing!

 

My Fake Einstein Quote

I’ve come across a lot of quotes attributed to Albert Einstein.  Many I’m sure are his, but some aren’t.  Einstein isn’t unique in this regard, this happens to other people, too.  Some are accidents, but others I believe are the result of people trying to spread a message and using someone famous to give their idea credibility.

With that in mind, I created the following non-serious Albert Einstein  image quote.  (By the way, he died years before the internet was created.)

Fake Einstein Quote

 

My Plan “B”

Alan Kay said that the best way to predict the future is to invent it.  With that in mind, the best way to stay ahead of trends, is to start them.  To explain my idea, a little history is needed.

 

People have been calling their loved ones “baby” for ages.  That’s a word with two syllables.  Of course, it is human nature to look for shortcuts, so many years ago “baby” became “babe”.  Same amount of letters, but now only one syllable.  That seemed to do, but a short time ago, even that was shortened by some to “bae”.  Still a syllable, but without the consonant sound at the end and one less letter to type into your phone.

 

Was it necessary?  It doesn’t matter.  If you don’t want to sound like a fuddy-duddy (you know, like the kind of person who says “fuddy-duddy”) then you have to adapt.  Therefore, to help everyone out, I’m recommending people start using “b” as an affectionate name for their loved ones.  It is pronounced like bee, without the “ee” sound.  (That’s right, it just the consonant b.)

 

You’re welcome.