I haven’t blogged much over winter (although I have been writing other things). If I had to state a reason, I could say something about work-life balance, but that wouldn’t make me look good. Instead, I’m blaming the English language.
Let’s face it, there are too many letters in the alphabet. Here’s my theory: if there were half the letters, I could write twice as much in the same amount of time. So, in an attempt to help ALL English speakers, below is how I’m suggesting the alphabet should be.
A – keep
B – keep
C – discard (use S or K)
D – keep
E – keep
F – keep
G – keep
H – discard (I don’t have a reason)
I – discard (use E)
J – discard (use G or maybe I)
K – keep
L – keep
M – keep
N – discard (similar to M)
O – keep
P – discard (similar to B)
Q – discard (similar to K)
R – keep
S – keep
T – discard (similar to D)
U – discard (use O)
V – keep
W – discard (use V)
X – discard (use S)
Y – discard (use I or E for vowels, G otherwise)
Z – discard (use S)
All together there will be 13 letters. (13 is prime number — who could have a problem with that?) If you learned the classic nursery rhyme when you were young, you will see it can be made to work. Try it:
“A B D E F G K L M O R S V. Nov I kmo me A, B, Ds, vom’d o kome and blae ved me.”
I think the history books will show that April 1st, 2018 was a pivotal day for the English language. Of course, I’m available for TED talks and Noble Prizes.
GD Konstantine (a.k.a. GD Komsdadene)
